Harry Potter Randomness
by oddsponge13
Summary: The Harry Potter world has gone CRAZY! This is a very random fanfic that includes Ommpa Loompas, Evil ponies, Harry falling on cactuses, and MUCH, MUCH MORE! Note: Do not read if you hate Random, confuzing, stupid, funny stories. Please R&R! NO FLAMMING!
1. The Randomness begins

Disclaimer- I OWN NOTHING!

One sunny day, Harry was walking in the great halls, reminding himself how sunny it was. While he was walking, Harry stepped in some gum, and tripped. Harry knew he was in trouble, so he blew his safety whistle, and waited for help to come. Then a bunch of Ommpa-Loopas came rushing down the great hall, singing one of their "Rescue Songs". One Ommpa- Loopa was carrying and shovel, while an other was carrying a water gun. The Ommpa- Loompa's hit Harry over the head, and he fainted. The next morning Harry awoke in the Hospital Wing.

"Where am I?" Harry asked with the piece of gum still stuck to his foot. Harry saw Ron & Hermione by his bedside, and Ron was crying.

"HARRY? IS THAT YOU? Shrieked Hermione in a shrill voice. Ron screamed like a girl and fainted. "I do like cheese…." Harry said with a hint of pity in his voice. "Good." Chirped Hermione. "Because today is Cheese day!" "HORRAY!" Harry cried, remembering last year's annual Cheese day. "Oh wait, Cheese day is next month." Hermione remembered. "WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG?" Ron shouted out randomly, as he was unconscious. Then Madame Pomfrey walked into the room. "Oh Harry dear, I'm afraid you three will have to stay in the hospital wing for a little while, for your own safety." Then Ron regained consciousness, and hit Madame Pomfrey in the head with a Curious George book, and she fainted. "Awwww…. Ron! We didn't get to hear why Madame Pomfrey wants us to stay in the Hospital Wing!" Hermione complained. "Uhhh… Who cares!" Harry said. "Let's go play dodge ball!"

The next sunny day, Hogwarts was having a field trip to a museum that no one cares about. Even though Hogwarts doesn't have field trips because a. Mugles will see them, and b. J.K. Rowling says so, the previous night Dumbledore was doing an anti brain spell on Snape, but it backfired, so Dumbledore was brain-less. "This is so boring." Sighed Harry. "But this totem pole is so shiny!" Ron said, while looking at a shiny totem pole. "What? I can't hear you!" shouted Hermione, as she listened to her MP3, which she had called Joe. "… And this is a pointy metal object, that I wouldn't recommend touching." Professor Megonicle explained. "Ohhh…. Shiny…." Ron awed as he touched the pointy metal object he wasn't supposed to touch. Harry realized he was so bored he was actually listening to Professor Megonicle speak. Harry decided to ditch class, so he jumped out the window headfirst, and landed on a cactus, and got brain damage. Harry lay on the hard cold ground, until finally, Ron followed the butterflies over to where Harry was lying. Ron Instantly knew Harry was hurt, so he called over Hermione, who was STILL listening to Joe at full blast. Unfortunately, when Ron told Hermione Harry was hurt, Hermione thought Ron had said "Harry's Big Bird" so she hit Harry with Joe, which didn't help with Harry's Brain damage. "I know who we should call!" Ron exclaimed. Ron started making birdcalls, and out of nowhere, Hedwig flew in the scene, and carried Harry, Ron and Hermione back to Hogwarts. Oh? Did I not mention Hedwig has super powers?

* * *

Okay! That's Chapter 1! Please review! NO FLAMMING! Ch 2 is coming soon to a computer near you! 


	2. Meet Timmy & Jimmy

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter, I don't own Pikachu, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!

It was a Saturday. Harry & Ron were in da Gryffindor common room, watching Saturday morning cartoons. Right now, they were watching commercials, and Ron was imitating a monkey. Then Hermione walked in the room, with a giant lollypop stuck to her hair. " Come on, we need to go to Wal-Mart!" explained Hermione. "Why?" asked Harry. "Because I need to buy a pet llama for company!" Hermione exclaimed. "To Wal-Mart!" Shouted Ron. Harry, Ron & Hermione climbed out the window, and jumped into Harry's Ferrari (Which Harry got for his 14th b-day, even though Harry didn't have a license) and drove off. Two hours later they arrived.

Harry, Ron and Hermione went into the pet shop. "Excuse me, I need a pet llama." Hermione said to the manager, seriously. "Look in the candy section." Said the man, who was actually the guy who dresses up in the barney suit. Hermione & Harry ran into the candy section, while Ron got attacked by a pikachu, who escaped from the random anime section. "I'll call you Jimmy." Hermione said, as she stroked a golden llama in an Elvis wing. "Cool! Lets pay for him at the register." Harry said. "Come on, Ron!" "Awww… do we have to go?" Ron sighed, holding the pikachu, who attacked him, but who was now his best friend. "Why don't you just buy the Pikachu?" Harry suggested. "Yeah! Good idea!" Ron agreed. "I'll call you Jimmy." "Name already taken!" Hermione called from out side, riding Jimmy. "Alright, Timmy." Ron said with enthusiasm. "Your name is Timmy." Then the 5 of them gathered in the Ferrari, and went back to Hogwarts.

Soon, Ron, Harry and Hermione were back in the common room, with Ron and Hermione's new pets, Timmy & Jimmy. "Can I have some hot chocolate?" asked Ron hopefully. "I'm one thirsty sailor." "Your not a sailor." Hermione said. "I'll get us all hot chocolate." Harry said in an awkward voice, and he left the common room. Harry went down to the great hall, and used Dumbledore's new Coffee/ Hot chocolate machine to poor 3 cups of hot chocolate for thethree kids, and one cup of coffee for Timmy and Jimmy to share. While Harry was walking upstairs, he bumped into Snape, and screamed. He was holding a knife, andthen said, "You're going DOWN POTTER!" Professor Snape squealed, and he ran after Harry on all fours, and Harry was running for his life. Just when Harry thought he was doomed, He saw Hermione, riding on Jimmy, and Timmy, riding on Ron, at the end off the cordor. "TIMMY! JIMMY! ATTACK!" Yelled Ron & Hermione at the top of their lungs. Jimmy head- butted Snape, and Timmy did a Thunderbolt attack on him. Snape gave a yowl of pain and whimpered away. Harry, Ron & Hermione High-fived each other. Then they noticed their hot chocolate had spilled all over Professor Snape, so they couldn't drink it! Harry groaned. "All that work for nothing!" Thought Harry. "Errr… Ya wanna go back to the common room and play Monopoly? " Asked Ron. "Every time!" Replied Hermione cheerfully.

* * *

That was Chapter 2! Hopefully it was very random! (Yay random!) Please review! But NO FLAMMES!


	3. When ponies attack

dsiclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter, or anything else, but I wish I did.

It was about one hour since Harry, Ron, Hermione, Timmy, and Jimmy had started playing monopoly. (It was wizard edition!) "I'm bored." Harry said. "Let's go outside and see Hagrid." "Okelly dokelly!" Ron said. Timmy & Jimmy stayed behind, while Harry, Ron and Hermione went out to see Hagrid. "Yo, H, wat da dilly?" Ron greeted Hagrid. "Hip, Hip, cheerio." Hagrid greeted with an English accent. "I'd murder for a cup 'o tea." He said. "Sorry Hagrid." Hermione said. Hagrid looked sad. Then he looked at Harry. "Well, Lad, how would ya like to see me new pet.?" Hagrid asked. Ron started making a surprised face that looked quite demented. "Here, I'll show ya." Hagrid said in his English accent. The four of them held hands, and shut their eyes. Then they went spinning into a portal. They started spinning faster. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Ron said joyfully. They were spinning for 5 hours. "Are we there yet?" Asked Harry, spinning. "Not yet." Replied Hagrid. " You three know how long it takes." The 4 of them kept on spinning. Then to all of their relives, they stopped spinning, and found them selves in a peaceful little field, with big rainbows, and pretty flowers, and little colorful ponies grazing on grass. The 4 of them stared, Bewildered. "Uhhh… Hagrid, exactly WHY are we in "My Little Pony Land"? Asked Ron. "Oh crumpets, there must have been a glitch in the system." Hagrid sighed. "I suppose we'll have to do it again." The three groaned.

Then before they could start spinning for 5 hours again, a pink pony trotted up to them. "Hello. I'm Prettytail. Welcome to Pony Land!" She greeted. Harry, Ron and Hermione gave blood-curdling screams. "Stay back, Lads! I'll save you!" Hagrid said heroically. Hagrid gave an angrey look at Prettytail. Prettytail looked hurt. "Don't make me angry…you don't like me when me angry…" Prettytail growled. (Can a horse growl?) "Come on Hagrid, we need to go!" Hermione persisted. "Why, your right lassie. Come. We shall hold hands and go back to Hogwarts. Right as Prettytail began to grow fangs, along with her eyes glowing red, The 4 friends began to spin. And spin. And spin. ….. They're STILL spinning. Yep. Still going. I could probably go on and on about how they're spinning, but after a while it would probably get boring, so I'm just gonna get to the part where they're back at Hogwarts. "We're back at Hogwarts!" cried Hermione. Ron curled in a ball and started sucking his thumb. "I hate ponies, I hate ponies…" Ron stammered over and over again. "Hey, we're back at Hogwarts!" Harry said, just noticing they just got back.

* * *

Yep, this story just gets weirder and weirder. Really. just for fun, here's a sneek preview at chapter 4: 

"Where's Ron?" Asked Hermione. "Oh, he's gone to Disneyland with Hedwig." Hermione exsplained. Then Harry looked at her oddly. "Now stay here, while I go and try out for the part of one of Santa's singing elfs." She bragged.


	4. The Hogwarts movie!

Disclaimer- I OWN NOTHING!

Harry was at potions class. Snape was trying to humiliate Harry. "Get up here Potter." He smirked. "Sing, "I'm a little tea pot"." He commanded. "I refuse!" Shouted Harry in an awkward voice. "Fine. 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 points off Gryffindor ." Professor Snape said . Gyfindorinains groaned. "MWHAHAHAHAHA! I'm being so EVIL!" Yelled Snape into the sky for no reason. Then he got struck by lightning. Harry, Ron, and Hermione started clapping. "Hurray!" Shouted Ron. "Encore, Encore!" Yelled Harry. Then Snape got hit again. Then it was time for the filming of the first real Hogwarts movie!" H,R, and H went out to the quittch field, where the movie was being filmed.

"I want to be a monkey!" Ron told the director. "I want to be a waffle!" Said Harry. "I want to be the dude who kills everybody!" Hermione chirped. "Now presenting our STAR!" Cried Billy-Bob-Joe Vandepdeepstratin, who was the director, as he opened the curtains to where the main star was standing. "HEDWIG!" Yelled Harry! Yes, there sitting on a giant tractor, was Hedwig, the star of the movie. Harry was jealous. Hedwig made one of those weird owl calls, and then melted Harry with heat vision. "Ow." Said Harry. Then Hedwig started beating up Billy-Bob-Joe, for no reason. "I'm bored." Complained Ron. "Lets have Hedwig fly us to Disneyland!" Hermione suggested. "But I'm afraid of Mickey Mouse!" whimpered Ron, remembering the time he had gone to Disneyland when he was 13, and started crying when Mickey Mouse hugged him. Then Hedwig had listened to Ron & Hermione's conversation, and Hedwig flew over to where they where standing, picked up Ron, and began flying him to Disneyland. "I don't wanna go!" Ron sobbed.

Meanwhile, Harry was trying out for parts for the movie. "I'm trying out for a dancing Eggo waffle." Harry announced in a waffle suit. "Let's see what you got, kid." Said Billy-Bob-Joe. Then the dude who brings the director doughnuts tuned on the familiar tune to the Nut Cracker Suite, and Harry started twirling around as an Eggo waffle. "Let me see more style!" Cried Billy-Bob-Joe. Then Harry began break dancing, which is hard to do if you're a waffle. "Perfect! You're waffle #1." Said Billy-Bob-Joe. Harry began to jump for joy. "I'm trying out for waffle #2." Malfoy announced, as Harry waddled over to Hermione was standing. "Horray for Harry!" Hermione exclaimed. "Where's Ron?" Asked Harry. "Oh, he's gone to Disneyland with Hedwig." Hermione explained. Then Harry looked at her oddly. "Now stay here as I try out for the part of one of Santa's singing elf's." Hermione bragged. "Who's this?" Asked Billy-Bob-Joe. "Hermione Granger, trying out for the part of one of Santa's elf's." Hermione said. "Sing." Instructed Billy-Bob-Joe. "Okay!" Said Hermione. Then she started singing, "Home on the range" in a very awful voice. "You got the part!" Said Billy-Bob-Joe. "Yes! Who the Girl? Go, Hermione, It's your birthday! Go Hermione," She started singing." "Where gonna start filming in 2 minutes. All actors grab a sombrero, and report to us immediately!" Said Billy-Bob-Joe. Harry & Hermione waddled over to the director. Then the director screamed like a girl. "MR. POTTER! THAT WAFFLE SUIT DOES SO NOT MATCH YOUR EYES! This movie IS OFF!" Screamed Billy-Bob-Joe. "But this waffle suit cost me 999 bucks!" Harry complained. "Deal with it!" Shouted the director, as he crawled away, muttering. "This waffle suit SO does match my eyes." Harry muttered angrily.

"Do you wanna follow Ron to Disneyland?" Asked Hermione. "Sure." Harry grumbled.

* * *

Cut! That's a rap! It's review time! NO FLAMES! Comming soon to Chapter 5!


	5. It's a Random World

Disclaimer- I OWN NOTHING!

Harry, Ron & Hermione had just got back from Disneyland. Ron still had a look of horror on his face. "Hey, Hedwig. Timmy. Jimmy." Greeted Harry, as the three entered the common room. Then Harry realized his scar was hurting. "Ow." Said Harry. "Harry, quick, your forehead's on fire!" Hermione shrieked. "I know, that's what it feels like." Harry sighed. "No Harry, It's literally ON FIRE!" Ron Screamed. Then Harry looked in a mirror, and realized his forehead really WAS on fire. "AAAHHHH!" Screamed Harry, as he ran around the room, screaming like a girl. Then he tripped, and fell in a fish tank. "That was lucky." Harry thought. Then he realized the water was on fire! Then Harry jumped out of the fish tank, now with his entire head on fire! "Well, this is a bit of a sticky wicket, isn't it?" Ron commented calmly. Then for some reason, the flame went out, and now all what were left of Harry's head were ashes, and his scar, which had fallen onto his neck. Then Jimmy bit off Harry's head. "BAD LLAMA!" Hermione scolded.

The next morning, Harry awoke in the hospital wing, and his head hurt. A lot. "Good morning, Sunshine!" Sang Malfoy, who was beside Harry's bed, in a pink, fluffy, dress. Then Harry screamed. "DRACO MALFOY, YOU ARE SOOO SICK!" Harry shrieked. Then Malfoy started singing the Barney theme song, like he really meant it. Harry's screams got louder, and louder, and he started banding his burnt head on his night table. Then Malfoy grew pretty pink wings, and flew out the window, with little sparkles in his trail. Then Harry noticed a bag of wood chips beside his bed. Harry knew that Dumbledore must of left it for him. He was mighty hungry, so he grabbed the bag, and started eating. Even thought he knew it was bad for his indigestive system. Then Hermione waked into the room, wearing a paper pirate hat. "Were gonna be pirates!" She yowled. "Yeppie!" Harry shouted.

Then Harry followed Hermione out the window, to their pirate ship. "Yo-ho!" Ron greeted Harry. "Yo-Ho." Harry greeted back. "Are ya ready, kids?" Asked Hermione. "Aye, Aye, captain!" Ron and Harry said together. "I can't HEAR YOU!" Said Hermione. "Aye, Aye, captain!" They repeated. "OOOOOHHHHH…." The three of them said. "I'm bored." Ron interrupted. "You guys are ALWAYS bored." Hermione commented. "Let's do the twist!" Harry shouted. "Yeah!" Ron and Hermione agreed. "PICKLE!" Ron shouted out. Then there was a silence. "GHOSTBUSTERS!" Harry also shouted out randomly. Then out of nowhere, the Ghostbusters theme came on, and the three of them started dancing, for 5 minutes. Then there was an other silence. "HOKEY-POKEY!" Hermione yelled out. Then the 3 of them did the Hokey-Pokey. Then a random guy stepped on the ship. "olleH, m'I .rM yseehc!" He greeted. "s'tahw pu?" Ron asked. Harry and Hermione stared, for, they didn't understand the language. "m'I gnivah a egarag elas. Tahw od uoy tnaw?" He asked. "I t'nod wonk." Ron replied. "Doog eyb!" The man said. "Ees ay!" Ron said. Then the man stepped off the ship. "Ronald?" Asked Hermione. "It runs in the family." Ron said for no reason.

* * *

RANDOMNESS RULES! No flames! Ch 6 is comming soon to a computer near you! (Also try and figure out the lauguage!) 


	6. Video game weirdness

Disclaimer- I OWN NOTHING!

Harry and Hagrid were in Hagrid's hut. "Would you like a bacon buddy, mate?" He asked. "No thanks, Hagrid. I'm depressed." "Why?" Asked Hagrid, in his strong, English accent. "Because, the new video game "Destroy all muggles" is out, and I can't afford it." Harry sighed. "Well, maybe someone will come and give you da money, mate!" Hagrid suggested, as his English accent, turned into an Australian accent. Just the, Ron walked in. "Well, Howdydoo." Ron greeted. Then Harry jumped onto Ron, and stole his wallet. "BAD HARRY!" Ron shrieked, as Harry started running. Then Harry rushed to his local video game store, and bought the game! "YEEEEHAW!" Harry said as he started dancing around the store. Then Ron walked into the store and swiped the game out of Harry's hands. "MY GAME!" Ron shouted. "That eager fellow has a point, you know." Said Hagrid, who was the store manager. "I NEED MONEY!" Harry shouted into the sky. Then the sky fell on Harry's head. Then a man wearing black walked over to Harry. "Sir, I'll give you 200 bucks for that piece of sky!" The man exclaimed. "Sold!" Harry screamed happily.

Harry walked over to Hagrid. "Now can I buy the game?" He asked his friend, and manager. "Sorry, Hairy Harry, but this game costs $200 and one cent." Hagrid explained. "Doh!" Harry walked out of the shop, depressed. Then he noticed something on the ground that was shiny. "Could it be?" Harry asked himself. "A PENNY!" He shouted with glee. Then he ran into the shop happily. "I GOT THE PENNY! I GOT THE PENNY!" Harry shouted, as he ran into the store. Everyone looked at him. "IIIII've gooot the peeennyyy!" Harry sang, as he skipped over to Hagrid, and slapped the penny on his desk "Sorry Harry." Hagrid said. "WHAT! But you said I needed one more penny!" He said. "Well, if you would of came in three seconds earlier, I could of gladly handed it over, but two seconds ago, the shop's deiced to have it's annual $100 bucks more month!" Hagrid grinned. "Darn!" Harry said. Then he walked over to Hedwig. "Buddy, can I borrow $100?" He asked. Then Hedwig got out his wallet, and pulled out a 1000,000 dollar bill. Harry began to drool. Then Hedwig put it away and threw an other penny at Harry. "That's cruelty to humans!" Harry shouted angrily. Hedwig stuck his tongue out at Harry. Harry walked away, sobbing.

Now Harry was mad. He walked over to the Gryffindor common room, picked up Timmy, and carried him outside to where Ron was sitting, playing his video game. "TIMMY, USE THUNDERBOLT ATTACK!" Harry shouted. Ron looked up from his game. "PIKA- CHUUUUUU!" Timmy yelled, as he zapped Ron with a Thunderbolt attack. "That's cruelty to humans!" Ron shouted angrily. Then Ron got out a pokeball. "GO, CHARIZARD!" Ron cried, throwing the pokeball into the air. Then a Charizard came out of it. "I guess this is a battle!" Harry yelled. "But seriously, where did you get the Charizard from?" Harry asked. "There was a sale at Wal-Mart." Ron told Harry. "Oh." Said Harry. Timmy and Charizard were standing out in the field, ready to attack. "Hey, wait a minute, you can't battle me with my own Pokemon!" Ron said. Harry looked embarrasses. "Can I borrow Timmy, just for this battle?" Asked Harry sheepishly. "Uhhh… Sure." Ron said. "ATTACK!" They both shouted.

Then really actiony music came on. The two Pokemon attacked! "This show is SO lame." Hermione said from the sidelines. Then she noticed Ron's video game. "Oh… Destroy all muggles… COOL!" She shouted, and skipped off, holding the game. Then later, during the battle, Ron noticed the game was gone. "MY GAME IS GONE!" Ron screamed like a girl, and fainted. "NOOO!" Harry shouted, then fainted. Then for no apparent reason, Timmy and Charizard fainted too.

* * *

OMG! I'M NOT DEAD! YAY! Sorry folks, but the next chapter is the last chapie I've written for this story, and right now I'm to lazy to write any more fer a while. But who knows? I might start writing a new chapter as soon as I'm finshed writing this! YAY! 


End file.
